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There are some things in the "When we savor each other, our abies rest in the cradle of our contentment". There are some things in the book that I disagree with, but overall it was a great reminder to be pro-active with your marriage when change or stressful transitions are taking place, like the birth of your second baby! Sep 01, Aisha rated it liked it. The book is great, and I am a big fan of Dr Gottman's work.. I don't believe in all that sharing and talking about childhood and stuff! AND seriously! So annoying! Nov 24, Rob Cummings rated it liked it Shelves: parenting , non-fiction.

If you have read any of the other Gottman books, such as Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child or any of his relationship books, you can pass on this one since it contains much of the same material. Sep 12, Melissa rated it really liked it Shelves: nonfiction , marriage. Quotes: It is very human to be much more forgiving of ourselves than our partners. The research has shown us that the master couples handle repairs differently than disaster couples.

In contrast, unsuccessful partners either neglect to make a repair, or if one is made, they rebuff it. Apr 17, Jonathan Ehrich rated it liked it. I went really back and forth on this throughout the process of reading this. Overall, I think it's good and helpful, but there's a lot of dreck to skim past or wade through depending on your reading style. The good: the work clearly and concisely summarizes the results of various studies that suggest properties of successful relationships that can withstand the stresses of early parent life, and is full of great exercises designed to help partners reconnect and thrive during one of life's hardest I went really back and forth on this throughout the process of reading this.

The good: the work clearly and concisely summarizes the results of various studies that suggest properties of successful relationships that can withstand the stresses of early parent life, and is full of great exercises designed to help partners reconnect and thrive during one of life's hardest chapters. The less good: a lot of the book really focuses on things that feel very relationship to me. There's often a portrayal of relationships that are doing less well, which meet the cishet stereotype of partners who secretly hate each other and constantly insult each other for examples, see any sitcom that aired throughout my entire childhood.

Tips aimed at this type of couple rarely seemed particularly useful to me. There's also a fair amount of content that feels casually sexist in , both in the forms of observations of relationships which often goes unremarked upon and also occasionally in the text of the book itself. The actively bad: there's a lot of scenarios portraying various interactions between couples in various contexts - and the dialogue they wrote for it is horrible. Be prepared to encounter couple who call each other slobs, men going off about how fat their wives are, and women insulting their husband's abilities in bed in the crassest possible terms.

It's all eye-rollingly florid, and often worth skipping outright. Oct 31, Lacey Louwagie rated it liked it Shelves: non-fiction , parenting , marriage. Let's just say it: if you've read one John Gottman book, you've read them all. I should have bypassed this in favor of a marriage-with-baby book by a different author, because this is basically just Gottman's 7 principles for making marriage work repackaged with more examples that include mention of a baby. It would have Let's just say it: if you've read one John Gottman book, you've read them all.

It would have been sufficient just to focus on how these topics intersected with marriage rather than trying to be a childbirth history book, an attachment parenting primer, AND a marriage workshop all rolled into one. Of course, I probably would have gotten more out of this book if my husband and I had actually worked through all the exercises, but I always have trouble buckling down and doing the exercises in books, and getting him to do it would have been even harder. There were a lot of marriage quizzes that I did feel out and that made me feel as if I were back in the days of reading teen mags again.


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This would definitely be useful if you haven't read Gottman before. He is the best when it comes to marriage. But if you've already encountered his research, there's just not much new here. Jul 15, Vida rated it really liked it. I was given this book when I was pregnant, but didn't get to it.

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When I did have my baby, I was exhausted and if I had any time to read, reading about having a baby was perhaps the last thing I wanted to do. Some of these self-help type books and parenting books are poorly written, redundant, and overuse exclamation points to the point of great annoyance.

I actually thought this was pretty well written. I think having a new baby puts a strain on any relationship, no matter how strong. I found I was given this book when I was pregnant, but didn't get to it. I found the approach and deconstructing of conversations to be quite insightful in this book. I like that the authors used real scenarios and conversations. I don't think this book needs to be read when someone has a new baby, I think reading it any time a person has young children would be helpful.

I was pleasantly surprised with this book, it definitely exceeding my expectations. Sep 26, Xin rated it really liked it. I was given this book by a coworker, who also had a baby before. A few main theme that stood out to me: 1. Work on understanding each I was given this book by a coworker, who also had a baby before.

Work on understanding each other. Even if you do everything right, you might still feel overwhelmed. Focus on your values and just keep at it. Insightful, but not life changing would be my evaluation of this book. I would recommend this book to every couple expecting a child, or already having children.

Honestly, very little of the book is about child rearing. The majority of the book is how to work together to be have the best marriage, because the being a great spouse naturally dominoes to being a better parent and raising healthy kids.

Baby Makes 4

My 1 take away goal as of 38 weeks pregnant! This was a pretty good book - I think its less useful for people who have been married a while or already have good communications strategies in the relationship. I think it would have been more helpful if we had had our baby in the first few years we were married - the strategies they discuss are solid and well researched and I know people who would probably benefit from the book it just wasn't personally that useful.

Really good information, great exercises and discussion questions included at the end of each chapter. The writing is a little hokey, stilted dialogue and too many analogies, which is why only 4 stars. It's still worth reading, and I think it would be helpful for anyone who has kids, not just parents with new babies. This author is actually a researcher so everything is data based and clearly explained.

We read it out loud to each other and some really productive talks about important issues!

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Feb 01, Cristina rated it really liked it. I liked this book as it opens your eyes on the importance of communication, common values, team work, sexual life and past heritage and how all come together and even surface when a baby comes. I really appreciate the exercises after each chapter and loved the most the practical advice. It landed good with me as I read it when I was pregnant and took me away from baby books and anchored me also into the importance of the love and wellbeing of the couple that brings the baby to this world.

Feb 05, Dylan rated it really liked it. I loved the parts I read, but the majority of the book is spent on conflict resolution between partners, which I loved, it was just a lot to swallow all at once. The Gottmans are very helpful and I mostly loved the advice they gave. Good general marriage advice There is great advice in here, no doubt, but I thought there would be a little more scenarios where newborns and young children were involved. There were some, but then the advice became more general.